Moral muteness is one of the most intriguing phenomena in human nature. As a communication major at Denison, I was able to study moral muteness extensively. In fact, a book I strongly recommend is The Elephant in the Room by Eviatar Zerubavel; this book deals with moral muteness and the phenomenon of human silence. What I discovered was that the biggest reason people are silent is the human tendency to avoid confrontation and uncomfortable situations. Many people feel "it is not their place" to get involved in a situation, even if their morality compels them to intervene. The mystery surround moral muteness is why a show like What Would You Do? on ABC is so popular.
Moral muteness has impacted my life in an extremely profound way. Before the incident I am about to describe, I was morally mute quite often; I never wanted to get involved in a confrontation unless it directly impacted me. One example I can clearly remember was when I was at on of my tennis practices as a child. A kid I knew was clearly getting harassed by some older kids. They were swearing at him, saying rude comments to him, and physically abusing him (in a schoolyard bully type of way). Even though this clearly and directly contradicted with my moral code, I was unwilling and unable to stand up for my peer. It haunted me for days and weeks afterward, and I felt absolutely awful. I did not intervene because it was not convenient for me, how terrible is that? I did not want to get involved, and I was scared for my own wellbeing. This was incredibly selfish, and caused me to be extremely disappointed with myself.
Although this experience left a mark on my life, I still participated in moral muteness more often than not until an experience I had at a Kroger, here is that story:
It was a day like any other in Northwest Ohio. I was standing in line at a local Kroger picking up some groceries for my mom. The person in front of me was especially slow, causing my irritation to rise. I took out my phone to tell my mom I would be later than expected, and then it happened: a 6’2, middle-aged, overweight, White man wearing a NASCAR baseball cap surged in front of the two women behind me, pointed at me, and said, “go back to your own country, you terrorist.” The cashier talking to the woman in front of me fell silent and looked away proceeding to scan the goods. Behind me, the women refused to acknowledge my existence. I was stunned. Not knowing how to respond, I replied, “Sure, I’ll go back to Wisconsin.” The man gave me a blank stare and walked away. Even my snarky remark failed to dissipate the tension in the room.
This experience provoked many questions: Why am I considered a foreigner and what gave him the right to say that to me? Does anyone else have these encounters on a regular basis? What kept others from speaking up? These questions informed my academic interests and compelled me to study and learn about the complex history of race relations along with adverse the effects of a racist society. My encounter with the man in the NASCAR cap turned out to be one of the most consequential moments of my life. Up until that point, I had lived in a bubble in which I never thought about my race and how other perceived me based on the color of my skin.
I understand that one person saying something racist to me is nothing compared to the daily struggles of systemic racism impacting African-American community, the violence directed towards Latinos, or the xenophobia surrounding Arabs. That being said, in order to advance as a society, the first thing step we must take is admitting that racism still exists. Too many people who have not been exposed to discrimination based on race deny that it is a serious issue in our country. If I had not crossed paths with the man in the NASCAR cap, even I, someone so passionate about eradicating bigotry, might still be ignorant to the inherent biases plaguing our society.
-Martin Luther King Jr.
I'm sorry that you were subjected to something like that, no one deserves to be singled out and face such bigotry. I understand the struggle of deciding whether or not intervening is appropriate more than most, because I also have a hard time dealing with conflict at any capacity. I'm glad this event has changed how you see things, though.
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing to me that within this country, we can still have so many people that expediently categorize all people into a certain "box". A situation like the one you described, while not positive, did allow you to personalize moral muteness and overcome its grasp. Within a community, it is more difficult to avoid uncomfortable confrontations like the kid playing tennis when you are forced to experience it yourself. This is certainly something I need to work on. It's good to have that self-awareness.
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